


Paradise

by thornsinmyheart



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pain, Post Mission Impossible Fallout, contain minor spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 03:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15743532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornsinmyheart/pseuds/thornsinmyheart
Summary: Ethan almost dies after that bloody fight with August Walker/John Lark.  My version of … his thoughts or what he could feel in his last moments. Before being rescued that is. And then there’s Will who obviously isn’t letting Ethan die.





	Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Fallout is great but it sorely missed Jeremy Renner… ( and that’s the reason I didn’t use amazing). But what inspired me to write this fiction is the stunning cinematography, especially in the last act of the movie. Even though the movie wasn’t originally shot in Kashmir (which is quite a shame), I can bet it’s an even better place to die..:p  
> Anyways this has kind of turned out to be lame and a bit boring (taking the fact it’s longest I’ve ever written), yet give it a try, maybe?
> 
> **Contains minor spoilers for FALLOUT. Skip it if you haven’t watched the movie yet. **

## Chapter 1

""

**If Heaven Exists Anywhere, Then Its here, Its here, Its here…**

""

***************

#####  Ethan’s POV 

***************

 

Kashmir, cradled on the lap of the majestic Himalayas, known as _“The Paradise on the Earth”_.

As far as he could remember those were the words describing Kashmir in a book he skimmed through briefly, before visiting the place. Being a spy requires travelling across the world, far and wide. Ethan has seen a fair part of the world himself and too many breathtaking places with splendid architectures, monuments and all, when he comes to think about it. Except that he never really had a chance to appreciate those or sit back and enjoy. Time was of the utmost essence, always. Today is, however, a contradiction and though the situation leading to it hasn’t been kind enough, what he can’t ignore though, is how hard the words hit home. That is, the epithet. 

Aptly called _“Paradise”_. 

Endowed with implausible beauty, it’s the gateway to heaven, if not heaven itself. With forested mountains, flowering meadows and crystal clear springs and lakes, the scented air is purely magical and feels heaven.

_Enchanting. Peaceful._

_The place where time stands still._

Not that Ethan cared for any sort of adjectives or description of the place at that moment while reading, it somehow just remained on the back of his mind and probably would have never stuck him right in the place unless faced with the current predicament. 

.......That is, dying.

Alone. 

Cold. 

In the midst of nowhere…

Heck, he probably couldn’t even tell whether he’s already dead considering the heaven he seems to be visualizing now. The last rays of the sun falling on the snowcapped peaks makes it glitter like diamonds. 

_Soft, yet breathtaking._

_An encompassing halo that can provide peace to every broken, damaged and weary soul._

Ethan could feel his senses drenched in the beauty of the valleys encompassing him. The strong and beautiful fragrances wafting in the winds from nearby floral meadows isn’t helping him either. Simply put, Ethan’s finding it hard to come to conclusion whether he has finally given up on the mortal realms and entered the divine lands, given the ethereal atmosphere he’s finding himself drowned in. Or maybe, he is counting down the last few moments of his life. Either way, it doesn’t matter.

.... Really. 

Because no one is going to find him here. Lying almost dead on the edge of a steep slope.

..... Invisible. 

.........Miles away from habitable lands. 

 

Bruised, bleeding, throbbing pulses and maybe each one of his ribs broken considering the physical agony he’s experiencing. He has almost turned blue and numb from the pain. Then again Ethan hadn’t really thought of coming this far. That he would be able to get out of that bastard Walker’s grips and make it to the detonator. As the last few seconds trickled down to a nuclear disaster, for one moment Ethan thought he has finally gone too far. 

 

_That there is really no way for a comeback this time around._

_He has finally failed everyone, him included, in the greatest stage and when it mattered the most._

_His hellish nightmares finally coming true._

 

Death with a sense of disappointment is probably the worst way to go. God knows Ethan is never afraid of dying which obviously isn’t opposed to the idea that he would like to live though, offered a chance. But thinking about dying with one-third of the world’s population and unable to save them, Ethan can feel a lump forming in his throat. He certainly had given his life to the IMF, sacrificing all his comforts and dreams, sacrificing Julia, the person who once meant the world to Ethan and who was just about to die, yet again for his fault.

And all of these thoughts seem too much for Ethan, overpowering him, almost choking him to death. 

**He was able to stop the detonator in the last second but was he really able to avert the disaster? Who knows..?**

 

Lark is probably dead but Lane’s still alive. Ethan couldn’t help but think of the situation Benji, Ilsa and Luther might be facing back in the camps. The presence of one Solomon Lane back there wouldn’t make the situation any better, if anything it would be worse. Lane’s determined to see Ethan and his team die and Ethan knows he would be pulling out all stops to achieve that, to finally get his revenge on him, to see him burn in hell. 

Will they be able to pull Lane down? They might very well require his assistance. 

_Maybe, or maybe not.._

_Not that he can bring himself to help though._

_Fuck…_

_He can’t even bring his limbs together to sit up straight. Travelling back to the camps is out of question._

Naturally the question remains hanging whether they have been successful in avoiding a nuclear warhead or not. The answer to which Ethan, most likely, has no chance of receiving and so the sense of disappointment is all that’s pervading through his core. 

_One which would be accompanying him to his death._

For a flicking moment Ethan couldn’t help thinking how it would have felt to die in the presence of his friends. His “team” whom he holds so close to his heart. _More like his family._  
None in the IMF gives a shit about the team as much as Ethan Hunt does. Again that’s partly down to how Ethan is made. That’s how he functions properly. In the world of spies where lies and betrayal keep on mounting, it’s the friendship, the **trust in his team** that remains constant. The thing that makes it all _worthwhile_ to take all these bloody risks for the world’s sake. They have been through so much and achieved so much.  


With Benji, Luther, Ilsa and….. and **Will**.  


_........Will. Will.. Will...._  


**That last name almost echoed on his mind. He could feel a deep tremor within.**  


_Isn’t it uncanny when the powerful emotions locked deep within finally able to surge through his heart only to find a dead end with no chance of reciprocation?_  


Ethan could feel hot tears stinging his eyes on the very thought of that person. He can feel a strange sadness engulfing him, one that’s enough to mask his physical pains yet strong enough him to break his heart. Maybe all those astray thoughts intended to lead to this very conclusion. _That he misses Will._  


_Terribly…  
_

__

Incessantly..  


Unceasingly..  


_In fact so much to the point it has almost settled like a dull ache in his chest._

Ethan has been on the run for a long time. Long enough than he cared to admit and unbeknownst to himself. First hunting down The Syndicate and then its remnant group The Apostles. Sure he had seen Will briefly in London when they captured Lane together. Even though its been almost a year to that. Ethan had thought things would end with Lane finally captured and he could hop back to DC and sort out his personal life which literally begged for his attention.  


_Only things haven’t gone his way or rather how he would’ve liked._  


MI6 insisted Ethan to stay in London and provide briefings regarding the Syndicate mission since he was pretty much the only one to have dug a lot of dirt regarding them. Excluding Ilsa of course, who was MI6’s very own agent. Interrogations started getting longer, boring and dragged on to the point where Benji, Luther and Will had to give up on him and return back to DC. Of course Will had a lot to do regarding the reinstatement of the IMF considering the backlash it had suffered in the wakeup of Syndicate and its previous events.  


Soon after that he received the task from IMF to stop the Apostles. In short, Ethan had found no time to breathe in between these long missions. He desperately needed a break or better to say, deserved it more than anyone else. But then knowing Ethan, anyone would bet he wasn’t going to refuse the Apostles mission just for the sake of a break and no matter how tired he was. Not when the world is facing a grave danger.  


_Work first, pleasure later_. That’s the motto Ethan Hunt lived by. No doubt he is very good at his job because he never hesitated to put his life on the line, no matter what the cost and consequences.  


Will wasn’t available for this mission for he had other important duties back at DC. One that required his analyst skills as well. Some sort of undercover mission and important at that. That’s what Ethan was told by Director Hunley. Or almost forced to believe that because he was unable to contact Will before leaving for the mission. Benji and Luther had been the obvious companions to the mission for recovering plutonium cores. Ethan could assess beforehand that the mission would be dangerous, life-threatening and no different than innumerable other ones he has completed till date. However, he was too kind enough to let the hope spark deep in his heart that he would come back.  


_Alive and in one piece. However dark might the road seem, he would see it to the end. He certainly would_.

 

Things, however, went out of his hands or safe to say, spiraled out of control.  


_Rapidly. Almost in a blink of an eye._  


Sometimes even the best effort is not enough. You always need a bit of luck when it comes to **survival**. That’s what Ethan realized, all his hopes crushed by defeat and disappointment, lying battle wounded and struggling to hold on to life.

 

Ethan can feel his thoughts flying back to Will again and the strange familiarity he has come to associate himself with. He almost feels guilty at the thought of craving for Will in his last moments. 

_Only Will. And none else. To share this blissful sight together. For one last time._

Sure he loves all his friends so much but Will is special. At least Ethan liked to think that and he hopes Will did that too. They didn’t get a chance to begin an actual relationship, not in a true sense of the word. It hurts to think of that now and Ethan almost regrets the chances he’d missed to tell Will about his feelings. _How deeply he felt!_  


Things were always in the air, with mixed signals from both sides, but never did they really had a chance to talk it out. **That time would run out for them so soon is hard to fathom.**  


With exhaustion finally taking over him, Ethan found it hard to keep his eyes open. Summoning his last remaining strength, he looked upwards. Dusk would soon settle over the valleys and he would be lost forever in this darkness. A strange sound from a distance reached his ears which he could hardly bring himself to care about.  


All his attention now is on the sky that looked straight out of a canvas, painted with a orange and pinkish hue, drowned by the last rays of the sun. There was so much love and warmth in the moment that all Ethan wished for, _is to share it with Will._  


_To wrap his arms around him. To enjoy this paradise with him. In silence._  


_He ardently wished that this paradise and its angels would convey all his unspoken words and feelings to his lover, wrapped in its pristine beauty._  


_Only if they had more time together_ …  


_Only if…_  


.......... as he slowly drifted to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Next one would be Will’s POV. That is, if you feel this should be finished.  
> Let me know in comments. Also criticisms are most welcome.


End file.
